"You hoes!"

Never before did calling inaminate objects "hoes" make so much sense. Until I met Arille Daniela Cireseanu (will-be Moscoso) ;) That's Moscoso not Mo'coso you silly caribeños...lolz.

Anywho, I knew college was a time where you learn about yourself and that the people that you meet there would change your life forever, but I didn't expect it to happen first semester! shiiit. Well, to start off, I never realized how Dominican I was before I met my panita pa' siempre. Apparently, the silent s in spanish actually doesn't exist. Additionally, r's, l's, and i's are in fact separate letters...who would have thought. :D

Despite, she showed me what being a real Dominican is all about--though she seems more Colombiana than anything else! It's great to show pride in your heritage and to have an accent, but there's no excuse for spelling errors and grammatical mishaps, that's trashy, NOT classy...

Ari is the type of friend who you argue with at first, but then you learn better. (She's usually right too...like almost always). So, it's better to quit while you're...behind.

In the semester that felt like a flash and a lifetime all at the same time, not only did I learn about myself but it's like my eyes were opened to the world around me. It's crazy how you can live 18 years thinking you see everything when you really only have one eye open...that's nearsighted with an astigmatism. Ari is like the contacts for my eyes. Pink color contacts! Lolz! I will never forget the time when she and some other friends literally sat me down and INTERVENED into my ignorance. I probably wouldn't admit it then (they were also intervening into my defensiveness) but I was ignorant. And i still am. Not as much as before though! I used to believe that where you come from and how you were raised determines who you are how you should be, but I learned that this couldn't be farther from the truth. People are meant to grow, mature, change from who they were before into someone better. And since then, I've been changing every day. It's crazy how you can hear the same thing your whole life, but not actually listen until you the right person says it to you, the right way.

Now I could spend days, and words and words and words and stories and stories and BOOKS on all our inside jokes (coquetearrr) or the uncanny way that we both look at each other (-__-) after we see something that tickles us (extremely awkward couple after their first date), but for the sake of the readers and my time/sanity, I'll stick to what's really important. Although I never cease to Laugh Out Loud whenever I think about them!

That is my sister, the sister that i never had, MY SISTA FROM ANUTHA MISTA! lol, before i get too extra on everyone, lemme stop and just say to you Pana: I truly mean when I say I miss you like crazy! and I love you (as a brother, Jose!) And girl you know that I say what I mean and mean what I say! :P Arielle, Nico and Kameeka--was our little carribbean-american connection!

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!

Hope my head isn't up to far in clouds until then...<33>

"HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA HOES MAN!!!!!!"

Nico (Freek-a-Leek)

Harambee at the U: Where Yo' Host At?!

So, this past weekend, my Harambee cherry was officially popped! Lolz, just one of the many benefits of having so many black friends (I know right, I'm so cool.) While the weekend was SUPER FUN, I have to admit I'm feeling a little disconcernment about the fact that the Harambee babies might have been slightly mislead as well as about the fact that disconcernment might not be an actual word. Oh, me...

The thing is, the whole weekend was a trick. The harambees are probably all set on coming here now because of the mad black parties that went on this weekend. Umm...yeah, UM isnt really like that...lol. We're lucky if there is a black party every month, let alone a good one. I mean, I'm just a freshman, but whatever,

Anywho, my weekend went like this:

Friday, the harambees got in, not really a big deal for me seeing as I didn't volunteer as a host...

Side Note: The reason why I did not participate in Harambee weekend was because I did not give a fuck about the weekend, nor did I want ANOTHER body all up in my room and following me around...although, I must say it was pretty eff-ed up that the people running Harambee at first wanted only black students, until when the didn't have enough people they started asking everbody! Mmmhm. BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE! The point is that just because a good part of my social circle is black, does NOT mean that I want to be a part of Harambee.

De to' mo', friday night there was a "party." It was in the on-campus apartments, and it was...ehh. Kind of awkward and packed with people at the same time...you know, whatever. When we left we got word that the other party that we were on our way to was wackaliciously bad. No dancing, no people...again, WHATEVER! We have to do something to show the harambee babies a good time!

"Arthur, go get your boombox!"


Before you know, it's a partyyyyyyyy like shit in the IM fields in front of Standford Residential College! Que Vaina! Regardless, that joint was funnn like shit. True.

The next night, supposedly it was another party going down at some house, riii, so we were liii WE'RE THERE, BROOO! Bahaha!

So then, we meet up outside of Hecht after first getting a wee bit wavy in the dorms, ti ji ji (giggle in spanish). Bee tee dubs, we roll mad deep. Okay, not like deep, but like 25 people deep. United Nationz Bitches! (minus Finland)

Then we get a cab to the party, and apparently some babies were ABANDONED by their host(s), so they tagged along with us. First of all, if your gonna call yourself a host and put that shit on a resumee, how the fuck are you going to straight up DITCH your harambee.

"Phone HOOOOME, weezy." (dumbass)

The party was madddddd fun though, and I was gettin' it THE WHOLE NIIIIIIGHT, haaaaaa (lil wayne voicebox voice)

Whatever man, I just think its fucked up that myself and Terona were more of hosts than half of these over-eager bammas who probably just did it for the sake of it being a black event or to build their resumee. I mean, half of them were probably good, while the other half was either drunk the whole weekend while their kid was SOBER, or they just up and left their kid...for, I don't know, maybe a club or something? Hmmm...

Whatever man! At least I had a good time, I really like alot of the kids and I hope they decide to come here! and I'm also quite considering putting "harambee participitant" on my resumee for this year...

"PANDEMONIUMMMM!!!! "

Ahhhh, anyway, just remember y'all "Life's a bitch...and then you blog."

Nic-Nic the Freak-Freak

ON DECK: A special post dedicated to my panita who is now in New York City--the greatest city in the world! Who could it be?

The Triflin' Truth

All my single fellas! (All my single fellas)

Listen up good.

Triflin', lyin' bitches. No se por donde comenzar.

Ladies...

You listen up too.


Here it is. Ever since I was about 14/15, I started attracting triflin', no-good girls. I think my skin produces some kind of trife juice which only triflettes can smell. And then they come running.

(And yes, trife is one of my favorite words.)


So, if my trife-juice skin theory isn't true, it must be something else. My grandmother always said that if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over, la culpa is probably yours. I have taken this into consideration, and I think it does apply in this situation. Yes, it's my fault that I can't keep a girl around for too long.

As amazing as the single life is (in more ways than one), nothing beats having that one. Most guys will deny this, but everyone knows that there is nothing better than to have someone special always with you, physically and emotionally.

Which brings me to my next point. This is where the trife-ness, lying, and bitchiness comes in. Guys are the ones who lie, cheat, and play. Lies! Guys are the ones who creep and sneak. Fairy tales! Guys are the only ones who play mind games with girls. Disney Classics!

The triflin' truth is that the both guys and girls lie, cheat, and play games. Girls just do it better.

La Excepcion: I don't ONLY attract trifeys. Vanessa, when it comes to love, you were my first and might damn well be my last. I still love you...

TRIFEY VS. WIFEY

The guys need to know how to tell the diffrence. So, I'm gonna give you my version of Trifey 101.

How To Spot a Trifey:

1. Every sentence starts with "I", or "Me" if your girl is Jamaican.
2. Her eyes lure and trick.
3. Her kiss is like sweet poison.
4. Takes her cool time deciding who she really wants.
5. Covers up her emotions. Conceals her pain.
6. Says she's "never trippin'"
   

Word to the wise: Real, genuine people trip sometimes.

Wifey Material:

1. It's not about you or me. It's about us.
2. Honesty lies within her eyes.
3. Her affection is like una mesa llena de arroz con habichuelas negras con maduros y tostones y bistec encebollado. Or you're not Dominican.
4. Knows who she wants.
5. Deals with her emotions. Lets you ease the pain.
6. Trips sometimes, because she wants you and only you.

Step up, ladies. I'm done with trifeys; it's time for Wifey. lolz.

So I'm done with all the [semi-] deep ish, and I want to finish this post with some words of wisdom from some of my best friends.

First, Arielle Cireseanu said,

"Hoes, man."

You're right, panita. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Finally, last-but-damn-sure-not-least, one of my favorite Asians, Alisa Doctor:

"Bitches are retarded."

...yes Alisa, yes they are.

Nico El Freako--I know, I'm so deep.

This Shit Is Bananas: Chartwell's, Platanos, & You

Every day I go to the Standford "Charty's" Dining Hall for lunch and dinner. I always have at least one stir-fry a day, sometimes two if the other food sucks. Let me show you what I'm working with here.

ME: Oh yes, another magical meal at the dining paradise that is Chartwell's. Stir-fry? Nah, had that for lunch. Origins? Hmm...

Menu:

ORIGINS:
Ropa Vieja
Arroz con Frijoles
Tostones

Origins!

I proceed to stand my hungry ass in line for a good 10 minutes before I finally reach the area where they serve the "authentic ethnic food options", hold my tray out eagerly, and then...



WHAT THE FUCK!?



Why do my tostones look like they lost a fight with the tostonera? Like really? I don't have time for this.

*Sighs; sits down*

I finish the rest of my meal before I get to the platanos. Reluctantly, I take a hesitant bite of the one...


I should let everyone know that I have this kind of gag-like reflex that doesn't allow me to keep nasty food in my mouth.


BLAH, *spits*. Diosito mio, they taste just as bad as they look.


Goodness, I haven't had plantains this bad since...Haiti.



EEEE JUST JOKIN' :-D

I have nothing against Haitians, don't get your titties all twisted up in a bunch. Some of my best friends live next door to Haitian people.



I JOKE, I JOKE...

The truth is that I really do love all of my Haitian friends! Even if we do prepare food better than you.

I digress...


La situacion de lo' platano' que `tan como la mierda...GOT-TA GO. Seriously. Anyways, please get a new tostonera, add some salt to the frying pan, dip those shits in the mojo sauce, and sprinkle some MUTHA-FUCKIN' cheese!

If it's one thing I have to say to whoever is cooking this junk, it's this:

If there is any justice in this world at all, a rotten banana will come back to life and MAKE YOU FLAVORLESS!!


Fuck the bullshit, Charty's.



Nico El Freakitito

Welcome

Bienvenidos a mi blog! `09 is the apparently the year of the blog and you know I HAD to jump my [non-] ass on the bandwagon! While I ponder what important issues I should address first (i.e. Trife, lyin' bitches or UMiami's Chartwell's Dining Hall's dire need to get some better platanos), you all can ponder:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ea4j7K-H3o&feature=channel

DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Beyey5PRLV4&feature=channel

...damn, okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpnPX5pUvg0

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF DICK HIGH FIVES A BLIND MAN!?!?!

HIJO DE PUTA, DESGRACIADO...conio.

And remember:

"Life's a bitch...and then you [read Nico's] blog."

Be back with more relevance/complete fuckery mas tarde....(you know you like it when I talk spanglish to you.)

ON DECK: Trife, Lyin' Bitches AND The Platano "Situation" in Charty's

...for real.



Nico "El Freako"


Editors Note: Not addressed to anyone specifically (Nathan Lim): Don't come to me with some pussy-ass bullshit about "Why don't you embed the videos?"-type bullshit.

Why don't you take your too-lazy-to-click-on-a-fuckin'-link-ass-ASS to back to Phillipines--How `bout that.

Lazy like shit...